


I'd bet my life on it

by ericaismeg, foxerica (ericaismeg)



Series: Poppy Day in... [2]
Category: Poppy Day - Fandom
Genre: Bets & Wagers, F/F, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, High School, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-06-04 14:11:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6661711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericaismeg/pseuds/ericaismeg, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericaismeg/pseuds/foxerica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You were nothing but a bet.”</p><p>It’s as if the words stop the whole goddamn world from turning. Her heart freezes, her mind goes blank for a moment, and it takes her a second to realize what those words even mean. Her chest tightens, her eyes water, and she pushes a piece of her hair back. <i>They can’t be true.</i> After everything they’d been through together in the past five months, it just…it can’t just be <i>nothing but a bet.</i></p><p>Poppy’s lips part. She finally moves her eyes off her to glance around at their other classmates. It’s only until she sees the sympathy on Becca’s face that she really gets it. It wasn’t a lie. Ellie had dated Poppy for <i>a bet.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here.](https://foxerica.tumblr.com/post/143354791307/id-bet-my-life-on-it-part-one-start-next)
> 
> Please note that Poppy Day and all of these characters are original and therefore belong to me. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

“You were nothing but a bet.”

It’s as if the words stop the whole goddamn world from turning. Her heart freezes, her mind goes blank for a moment, and it takes her a second to realize what those words even mean. Her chest tightens, her eyes water, and she pushes a piece of her hair back. _They can’t be true._  After everything they’d been through together in the past five months, it just…it can’t just be _nothing but a bet._

Poppy’s lips part. She finally moves her eyes off her to glance around at their other classmates. It’s only until she sees the sympathy on Becca’s face that she really _gets it._  It wasn’t a lie. Ellie had dated Poppy _for a bet._

It’s like some twisted high school love story that is supposed to have a feel-good ending. There’s no feel-good ending for them, not with the way Ellie just broke Poppy’s heart with such ease.

She holds her chin high, unashamed of the tears at the corners of her eyes. They always tell people that you should never let your enemy see you cry; see how they affect you. Poppy thought that was kind of bullshit. She has every right to feel exactly how she feels, and she doesn’t give a damn who knows it. Maybe she’ll regret that later, and think about how embarrassing it was, but right now? Right now, she’s pressing her lips tight and swallowing the lump in her throat. She’s trying to contain herself a little, just so that Ellie will be able to understand her clearly.

Poppy doesn’t want a single witness to doubt what she said. She straightens her shoulders, narrows her eyes a little, and takes a deep breath. “A bet.”

“Yes,” Ellie says. Her light-hearted tone is gone. It’s as if the crinkles at her eyes or the wrinkles on her forehead were never once there.

Poppy nods. “Yeah, wow, okay. Didn’t I call that though? Back at the beginning? And you _promised_  me, in fact you _assured_  me, that you weren’t asking me out because of a bet or a dare or otherwise.”

Ellie shifts on her feet. Poppy knows that no matter how much Ellie has just hurt her, she’s hurt herself a little more. “I did.”

“And, like a typical high school monster, you lied and spent _hours and hours_  with me for a bet?” Poppy asks.

Ellie hesitates before she nods. She doesn’t get it. She doesn’t get why Poppy has suddenly gone so hard. Why Poppy is still standing here, hot tears burning down her cheeks. Why Poppy hasn’t run away, humiliated.

“I want to hear you say it,” Poppy whispers.

Ellie’s lips tremble this time. Poppy can barely hear her say, “Yes.”

Poppy bobs her head, as if she had to think about that answer. She’d known it was coming. Yet it still feels like someone stabbed her with a knife and is now slowly twisting it. She brushes some tears off her cheek. “When you told me you loved me last Saturday…did you _win_  the bet?”

“Poppy–” Ellie starts, but she can’t finish. Her hand reaches out for Poppy, but she must realize what a mistake that is. She snatches it back and covers her mouth. She doesn’t need to say a word this time.

“Congratulations,” Poppy says. Her voice shakes when she continues. “I hope whatever you won was worth breaking the heart of the only person who truly loves you for you.”

“Poppy–”

But this is how she makes her exit. Poppy turns on her heel. She doesn’t need to tell Ellie not to call her. She doesn’t have to tell Ellie to stay out of her life. She doesn’t have to scream, to make a scene, to break down sobbing. She knows that she just broke Ellie’s heart deeper than her own.

She walks down the high school hall way. It’s funny how so much has changed, and yet nothing has at all. When Poppy reaches her locker, she knows the news of Ellie’s Bet has gotten around. People are staring at her again, and not in the liberating way. Their looks are filled with pity and sympathy. But they don’t know. They don’t know just how truly destroyed Poppy feels right now.

She’s on autopilot when she grabs her History and English textbooks to take home to do her homework. She won’t get anything done, she knows. But still, it feels normal and right now, she needs that.

“Poppy!” a familiar voice comes from behind her.

She doesn’t turn around. She simply shouts, “Not now, Abigail.”

Then she pushes the door to exit the school and lets the tears fall.

 

❤ ❤ ❤

_**FIVE MONTHS AGO** _

_September_

❤ ❤ ❤

 

Poppy didn’t mind high school. She has a nice circle of friends, she isn’t overly popular, but she isn’t the last bug on the food chain either. She has a routine. She gets up in the morning, goes for a short run, comes home, showers, pulls her wet hair back up in a messy ponytail, grabs her backpack, has something quick to eat, and jogs over to her neighbour’s driveway to meet Tom in his truck. They head over to Vernon’s place, pick him up, and meet Jane in the parking lot.

It’s good. They all hang around Poppy’s locker before the first bell rings, and then quickly dart off to grab their books before homeroom. Poppy enjoys her group of friends. They are kind, good people. They’re reliable people. They’re the type of friends you keep for life because you’ll be hard-pressed to find better people.

Tom wants to become a physician so he can work at a walk-in clinic and help people who don’t always get the best treatment. Vernon is a quiet dude with big aspirations of becoming a model. He has Resting Angry Face, so everyone thinks he is a big mean guy, when really he has a soft spot for his little sisters and children in general. His plan is to become a social worker to help those who need it. Jane’s a bit different. She dyes her hair every two weeks to something new. She gets bored quickly. Never stays with the same person for longer than a month. But she’s the only person Poppy’s ever known who spends her Saturdays working with the homeless.

Poppy doesn’t have a _niche_  like her friends, but she helps them out whenever she can. Even if it means getting up at 5am to help Tom at the local clinic on a Sunday, or if it means spending a few hours doing research on how to handle different situations to quiz Vernon. She’s also been known to join Jane at the homeless shelter too.

She thrives on routine. They have the same table for lunch every day, sit in the same order, and have the same general happy vibes. Poppy likes it that way. It’s predictable; safe.

So nothing could have prepared her for the day that she goes out to Tom’s truck to see Ellie Stevenson leaning against the passenger door one Monday afternoon. Poppy glances around for Tom, but figures he is late from his soccer practice. She’d spent the last hour and a half studying. It’s a system that has always worked out well for them.

Ellie Stevenson is the girl that everyone talked about. She isn’t exactly Queen Popular, but she is the Mysterious Badass that everyone followed. She’s just slightly untouchable. Guys brag that they slept with her; always talking about how amazing she was. Girls lie about spending a day shopping with her or skipping class to hang out with her. Everyone wants to know Ellie.

Poppy wishes she is an exception. But something about Ellie had always drawn her attention back to her, time after time. She’s not sure why she approaches Ellie with sass the first time they’ve ever spoken to each other. Perhaps it’s her way of trying to stay cool, or perhaps her brain momentarily loses control. Either way, she marches up to Ellie and raises an eyebrow. “You lost?”

Ellie looks up from checking out her finger nails. Poppy peeks to see they’re perfectly manicured. Ellie drops her hand to her side. She gives Poppy a surprised look. “Am _I_  lost? No. I’m waiting for Tom. Are _you_  lost?”

“No.” Poppy eyes Ellie carefully. “What do you want with Tom? He’s a good person, you know.”

“I _do_  know. He generously offered me a ride home since my car is in the shop. Shitty transmission problem that my dad can barely afford,” Ellie snaps back.

Poppy immediately feels regret. She wants to apologize, but somehow, she gets the feeling the words would be lost on Ellie. She’s not the kind of girl who looks for apologies anyway. She straightens her shoulders. “Well that blows.”

“It does.” Ellie frowns at Poppy. “Why are you waiting here?”

“Tom drives me to and from school every day,” Poppy explains. She doesn’t want to give up the information for some reason, but she does anyway. What does it matter to Ellie anyway? “We live beside each other.”

“Oh?” Ellie asks. “Interesting. Is Tom in love with the Girl Next Door?”

“I’m hardly that,” Poppy mutters. It’s a lie. She’s pretty sure she fits the stereotype for Girl Next Door perfectly. In fact, she remembers an awkward, blushing Tom asking her out last year. It had been the first time they had ever really spoken. She’d gotten her period and leaked on the seat of his brand new (to him) truck. She had been too embarrassed to say anything though, and he hadn’t mentioned it. When she had texted him to own up to it and apologize, he’d just told her that it happens.

They had never gone on another date. Sometimes, Poppy wonders if it was because of that. But she figures it couldn’t be, since Tom was always asking her to hang out after that. They’d become pretty close friends, and now, he’s her best friend. She can’t imagine life without Tom. It doesn’t matter anyway - Jane has a crush on him.

“I don’t know. You seem pretty Goody-Two-Shoes to me,” Ellie comments. “Isn’t that a little bit _boring?”_

“You know, Miss Badass, we could stand here and wait for Tom in complete and utter silence. It’s not breaking a Social Rule or anything.” Poppy feels a weird fire in her belly. She isn’t sure whether she wants to fight Ellie or push her against Tom’s truck and make out with her, tangling her fingers in her black hair.

Ellie snorts. “Wow. Who knew you were such a b–”

“I see you two are getting along _nicely,”_  Tom’s voice comes suddenly. They both jump to look at him. He’s a small, skinny, average white boy. And Poppy’s not surprised at all that he misses the way Jane looks at him with hearts in her eyes.

“We are. You didn’t tell me that your _friend_  would be joining us,” Ellie says, pouting. “I was hoping we could have some quality alone time.”

Tom scoffs, shaking his head. “Whatever, El. Just get in the truck, you two. And El, Poppy gets shot gun. No arguments.”

Poppy doesn’t bother resisting the urge to stick her tongue out at Ellie when she opens the door. Ellie rolls her eyes and makes a face. Tom gives Poppy _that look._  The look that tells her she’s being a brat and to be a better person. He usually saves that look for when she’s around her dad. She rolls her eyes, but he elbows her gently.

“So, um, you two are friends, huh?” Poppy asks.

“Ellie and I go way back,” Tom says. She knows that tone. It’s the Do Not Ask Anymore Questions, Poppy tone. She winks at him to let him know she’s got the message loud and clear.  She looks out the window.

He turns the music on, blaring it just loud enough that no one has to say another word. Poppy looks at Ellie through the side mirror. It’d been broken for a while now, and she keeps meaning to remind Tom to get it fixed. Ellie’s looking out the window, her expression a little softer than usual. It’s almost as if Ellie looks _sad._  As if she’s lost in her thoughts and her world isn’t as cool as she pretends. It makes Poppy a little regretful for her behaviour before.

Poppy almost tells Tom he must be driving in the wrong neighbourhood when they pull into the rough part of town. She keeps her lips shut, even when Tom parks in front of an old, run-down house that has two windows boarded up. She feels small, suddenly. Like she shouldn’t have been so rude to Ellie.

“Tell anyone where I live and you’ll live to regret it,” Ellie whispers, her threat sounding more like a promise.

Poppy mocks, “Don’t flatter yourself.”

Ellie lets out a surprised laugh. She claps a hand on Poppy’s shoulder and says, “I think I like you, Poppy Day.”

Poppy’s not sure what her face looks like, but she can only imagine it’s a mixture of shock, horror, surprised, confusion, and maybe a little blush.

“Thanks for the ride, Ragweed.”

“Whatever, Taco,” Tom says, casually. Poppy doesn’t even hide her surprise at their familiar nicknames for each other. Ellie gets out of the back of the truck, shutting both doors behind her. She steps up on the small ledge and crosses her arms on the door, hanging in the open window.

"Hey, Princess?” Ellie says.

Poppy raises her eyebrows and makes a non-committal noise of acknowledgment.

“Wanna go out with me sometime?”

“What the hell?” Poppy blurts.

Ellie laughs. “Think it over. I think you and I could have a lot of fun together. Make some splashes in the headlines. Have a good night, Taco. Princess.”

Just like that, Ellie’s striding to her rundown house with a smile on her face. She glances back once to send them a wink and a cute wave. Then she disappears around the back of the house, and Tom starts to back up.

“What _the fuck, Tom?_  You and Ellie?” Poppy asks, unable to contain herself a moment longer.

“What? Ellie’s mom and my mom were really close,” Tom says. His voice is soft.

Poppy’s entire outlook on them changes in an instant. She reaches out to grab Tom’s hand. She squeezes. “I’m–I’m sorry, that was thoughtless of me.”

Tom shrugs. “You couldn’t have known. It’s not something Ellie and I ever talk about. But they both had cancer at the same time. The only difference is that Ellie’s mom survived and mine didn’t.”

Poppy closes her eyes, feeling like an asshole now. “Tom. I…I’ll be nicer to her next time.”

“What? On your date?” Tom asks, laughing.

"Shut up,” Poppy says, laughing with him now. She swats him and moves her hand to her lap. She rests her arm out the window.  Her eyes look at the mirror, thinking of how momentarily sad Ellie had looked. Does Tom remind her that she could’ve lost her mother too? Poppy shakes off the sad thought. “She didn’t mean it. A girl like Ellie would never go for a girl like me.”

“Would you though?” Tom asks. “If Ellie was serious.”

Poppy thinks about it for a moment. A small smile crosses her lips. “I think I might, just for the hell of it. She’s right, you know.”

“About what?”

“It _would_  make the headlines of the school’s gossip blog,” Poppy says, grinning now.

Tom snorts, amused. “I can see it now - _Poppy Day and Ellie Stevenson? A Match Made In Heaven?”_

“No way. More like, _Ellie Stevenson Lowers Her Standards.”_

“Hey!” Tom says, eyeing Poppy now. “Be nice to yourself. If anything, people might be surprised to hear that _you’re_ into Ellie.”

“What does _that_  mean?” Poppy asks.

“The infamous Poppy Day who used to write love letters to Matt McQuaid?” Tom reminds her like _such_  a good best friend.

"You asshole,” Poppy teases. But frankly, she’s just relived she can laugh about it now. Back in grade eight, having all her love letters to Matt posted around the hallway had been absolutely mortifying. Luckily for her, Matt was really sweet about it. _And_  he’d gone to a different high school.

“Love you, Pops.”

“Love you too, asshat.”

 

❤ ❤ ❤


	2. ask me again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted [here.](https://foxerica.tumblr.com/post/143406075662/id-bet-my-life-on-it-part-two-prev-start)

_September_

❤ ❤ ❤ 

The thing about Tom is that he’s dealt with way more heartbreak than anyone should in a lifetime. And he’s done it before he was fifteen. So when Poppy leans over to press her lips lightly against his cheek, it’s because she wants him to remember that he’s loved and has someone to lean on if he needs a friend. Tom brushes his rough thumb over her cheek in return. It sends goosebumps crawling over her body, but not in a romantic way.

Sometimes it’s overwhelming knowing that someone loves you as much as Tom loves her. She stares at him for a moment, taking him in. Poppy gives him a small nod before she gets out of his truck. She hops down, turning back to grab her bag. Her eyes meet his on the other side of his truck. He’s grabbing his keys.

“What, Poppy?” he asks.

“I just love you a lot, you know?” Poppy tells him. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’d probably beat up some innocent kid and force them to be your best friend like you did with Vernon,” he answers, keeping the mood a little lighter. He shuts his door and she follows suit. They meet at the front of the truck. “Was today a Good Day or a Bad Day?”

“It was a Good Day,” she answers. “You?”

“A Good Day,” he echoes. “Seeing Ellie is always nice.”

“Why do you call her Taco?”

“Ah, that’s a story for another day,” he promises. “Have fun with your English essay.”

“Fuck off,” Poppy teases. “Have fun with your gym project.”

“Hey! We’re doing the health unit right now, and I have to write an essay on something related to health, I’ll have you know.”

“Whatcha going to write it on?” Poppy asks.

He shrugs. “I was thinking I was going to write it on how sexuality-related harassment hurts people in the LGBT-plus community mentally and emotionally. And how mental and emotional abuse can appear in certain people’s physical health.”

“Heavy, dude.”

“Hey. You’re the one who taught me it’s my duty to teach others. We have to present our essays after we get them back.”

Poppy raises her eyebrows. “Dude, I’m _impressed.”_

Tom shrugs. “It’s my duty.”

“See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow. Love you, Princess.”

Poppy stops in her tracks and waves a finger at him. “No, no. _That_  is not going to catch on. I’ll have _none_  of that. Or else I’ll call you _Ragweed._  How would you like that?”

“Whatever you want, Princess.”

“Tom!” Poppy protests. He’s already at his front door, laughing as he waves goodbye. She rolls her eyes and grumbles, “I love you, you asshole.”

“Sleep well, Princess!”

“Fuck off!”

When Poppy gets upstairs, she crashes on her bed. She doesn’t even kick her shoes off right away, just lays down to stare at her ceiling. She’d finally had her first interaction with the Mysterious Bitch Ellie Stevenson. Somehow, Ellie seemed less like a mystery to Poppy now.

She closes her eyes and doesn’t open them again until her phone vibrates. She rolls over to fish it out from her brown bag and then settles on her stomach while she reads it.

 

> **JANE:** _um, tom told me you’re going on a date with ellie???_
> 
> **POPPY:** _ugh I don’t know why he would say that_   
>  **POPPY:** _like, I guess, she sort of asked me?_   
>  **POPPY:** _but she didn’t actually mean it!!_
> 
> **JANE:** _what?! I can barely believed you even TALKED to ellie?_   
>  **JANE:** _last I heard on the Crazy Ellie Adventures is that she yelled at some girl for lying about hanging out with her and how she was a person too_   
>  **JANE:** _but the way she carries herself, it’s kind of hard to believe she’s only a person? y’know?_

If it had been any other day, any other day that Poppy had _not_  spoke to Ellie for the first time, she would’ve immediately agreed with Jane.

After today though?

 

> **POPPY:** _as much as I get that, she actually seems pretty…normal?_

It must be her house, her neighbourhood. Poppy wishes she didn’t know a damn thing about the infamous Ellie Stevenson’s home life. It would be easier to continue to picture her as this character around their school. Instead, she was a real person who lived with her dad, but not her mother who had survived cancer when she was twelve years old. Poppy wonders why she doesn’t live with her mother. It makes no sense. Wouldn’t you want to be with the one you almost lost?

Setting her phone on her nightstand, Poppy ignores it the next time it vibrates. She knows they’ll talk about Ellie tomorrow at lunch, and really, she’s not sure she wants to. Poppy wishes Tom was more of a gossip, but she’s always respected that he isn’t. He keeps her secrets quiet, she keeps his quiet. It’s kind of been their thing.

Knowing she has homework to do and actually _doing_  the homework are two very different things. As much as she wants to put it all off, she figures she’ll only end up regretting it later. Besides, she needs to do _something_  to keep her mind off Ellie Stevenson.

There’s just _something_  about that girl that draws her in. She’s always admired Ellie from afar, but after being up close with her, Poppy feels strange. She feels a little…tingly. Like the anticipation buzzing through her body is enough to keep her on Cloud Nine for the next fifty years. She’s restless and can’t focus.

She’d never interacted directly with Ellie. She’d only heard the rumours, heard the gossip, watched Ellie deal with authority from afar. Once, Poppy was in a washroom stall when Ellie came in and told some younger girls to get out. She had called someone, talked so low that even Poppy couldn’t quite make it out. To this day though, Poppy remembers hearing the way Ellie’s voice had cracked. She had been a little obsessed after that.

Ellie’s wardrobe consisted of black clothing with random bursts of colour. Her hair was dark as midnight, her eyes green, and her lips always done with bold red lipstick. Sometimes she wore army boots, sometimes she wore heels. It was the way she constantly mixed it up that attracted everyone to her. One day you’d see her bending down to help a young girl with a problem, the next you’d see her screaming at some stranger she passed. If Ellie looked twice at you, you were instantly cool until she looked twice at someone else.

She didn’t just have Resting Bitch Face. She had Resting Sad Face too. Poppy wonders if anyone else had even noticed that. She certainly had. And maybe that’s because her mother had almost died from cancer. Maybe that’s because life isn’t easy for Ellie. It isn’t as easy as she makes it look, anyway.

Ellie pretends she doesn’t care about things, but Poppy knows otherwise. The girl had feelings just like anyone else. She wonders if Ellie has a support system at all.

Poppy tosses her homework aside and walks over to her window. She pushes it open and crawls onto her side porch roof. It takes her a moment to stabilize herself in her socks, but then she picks up the stick she had made two years ago and taps Tom’s window with it.

He pokes his head back from his desk to look at her. With a heavy sigh, he pushes his window open.

“What’s up, Pops?”

“I think I want to go on a date with Ellie Stevenson.”

She hadn’t even realized the thought had crossed her mind until she said the words. Tom raises an eyebrow. “You do?”

“I do.”

“I– _really?_  Why?” Tom asks.

"I’m kind of tired of being Miss Goody-Two-Shoes. And what’s more daring than _actually_ going on a date with Queen Badass?” Poppy asks.

“I–what the hell has gotten into you? First, you’re ridiculously rude to Ellie–don’t think I didn’t hear, Pops–and now you want to _date her?”_  Tom sputters. He shakes his head. “I can honestly say that I will personally never understand people.”

“People or women?” Poppy asks, settling down onto the roof. She hugs her knees.

"Oh, um. All of you,” Tom says, waving a hand around in the air. Poppy frowns, unsure what that’s supposed to mean. Perhaps Tom wasn’t as straight as she’d always thought? After all, he _had_  developed quite the interest in sexualities after one of their friendly debates. Poppy wonders what that means for Jane’s undying crush on him since last year. “Seriously though, Poppy. Do you actually want to date her? Or are you just bored?”

“Mostly bored,” Poppy admits. “And maybe, I don’t know, she kind of gives me butterflies. I mean, you _know_  she fascinates me.”

“Yeah, like Vernon is fascinated by space ships. I didn’t think it was something you’d actually want to pursue,” Tom points out. “But alright, sure. What do you want from me?”

“Advice, maybe?” Poppy asks. “Or her phone number?”

Tom scoffs. ‘No way. I never give out peoples’ numbers without their permission. Not after what Abigail did to Jake.”

Poppy giggles, because he’s right. That _had_  been a disaster. Jake had had to change his number because Abigail had become a little _too_  clingy. She tucks a piece of her hair behind her face and frowns. “I don’t know, Tom. I’m just…I think I’m in a rut.”

“Aren’t we all,” Tom mutters.

“So? What do you think?”

"I think the likelihood of you actually agreeing to go on a date with Ellie is as likely as me making out with Vernon.”

Poppy’s eyes flash at the challenge. “I go on a date with Ellie and you’ll make out with Vernon?”

“Sure, why not?” Tom says, shrugging. ‘Now are you done pestering me so I can go back to my essay?”

She hesitates. Tom’s eyebrows come together and he waits, patiently. She knows this week has kind of been a rough one for him. He’s already had two Bad Days. She hasn’t had one yet. “Tom? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

He scoffs, rolling his eyes. “You only remind me a dozen times a month. Look, Pops. Ellie’s secrets aren’t mine to share. But I’ll tell you this much: she’s human, just like you and I.”

“I know that. I wasn’t talking about Ellie–”

He gives her his look. She stands up, brushing her butt off. Without another word, she salutes him and climbs back into her bedroom. Before she shuts her window, he says, “Love you, Pops.”

“Love you, Tommy.”

Tom looks at her for a moment before he shuts his window.

For some reason that she can’t put her finger on, Poppy feels as though their relationship has changed. She can’t tell if it’s for the better or worse. She only knows that she can’t shake the feeling.

 

❤ ❤ ❤

_October_

❤ ❤ ❤

 

Poppy doesn’t see Ellie again for almost a month. It’s not like it’s surprising to her. Their paths never usually cross, and Tom had certainly made it clear that Poppy was _not_  to ask about her. After she had gossiped with Jane and Vernon, Poppy had decided to put the topic on the back burner. There are other important topics to consider.

Vernon had brought his checker board with him to school to pass time during lunch with Poppy. Jane and Tom had gone out to lunch together - not on a date, apparently, but just a friendly hangout to spend more quality time together. Vernon and Poppy could spend hours talking and they could spend hours together in silence. He clearly wasn’t up for talking today, so he’d brought their favourite game.

He was also kicking her ass when Ellie comes up to their table and says, “Nobody plays checkers anymore.”

“We do,” Poppy says, instantly. She doesn’t even look up at Ellie, too focused on her next move. She’s very aware that Ellie is standing there though. She had seen her earlier in the morning and knows exactly what she looks like today: black boots, ripped, skinny jeans, a band t-shirt, leather jacket, red lips, hair pulled back in a messy bun. If Poppy tried to pull that outfit off, she’d be laughed at by every person she passed.

“Move this piece,” Ellie says, pointing at the board.

Poppy glances up at her now. She’s a little confused when she murmurs, “Thanks.”

And proceeds to dominate the board suddenly.

“Hey! No fair,” Vernon mutters. He rests his chin in his hands and stares down at the board, focusing intensely.

“What can we do for you?” Poppy asks, looking up at Ellie now. Ellie looks a little…nervous. The expression is gone the second their eyes meet. She looks confident now, and her eyes dance with a challenge.

"Did you think it over?” Ellie asks, leaning forward. Her shirt is loose enough that her cleavage becomes visible. Poppy almost wants to tell Vernon to look away, but she knows he won’t look out of respect. It takes everything in her to hold her gaze.

“Did I think _what_  over?”

“That date,” Ellie whispers. Her voice drops into a seductive tone. Her eyelids flutter a little. “You and me.”

Poppy’s heart freezes for a moment. Her mind flashes back to when she told Tom she’d like that date with Ellie. She wonders if she has the guts to actually follow through on what she had stated so boldly. Poppy’s lips part. “I’ve thought about it.”

“And?” Ellie asks, leaning in a little more.

“Your move, Pops.”

Poppy’s eyes don’t leave Ellie’s when she says, “Vernon, do you mind giving me a minute?”

He sighs, but otherwise, quietly gets up and leaves her alone with Ellie. She’ll have to make it up to him sometime.

“You’re playing me hot and cold here,” Ellie murmurs. “It’s driving me crazy. You won’t meet my eyes from across the room, and yet I can feel you watching me from afar.”

Poppy wishes she could hide her ridiculous blush right now. But she can’t. She just scrunches her nose a little and says, “Well, that’s embarrassing.”

“So tell me, beautiful, what’s the verdict? Want to make some people talk? Get their tongues wagging?” Ellie asks.

“Fuck, you’re so forward.” The words slip out before Poppy can stop them.

“Would you rather I was shy and awkward about it?” Ellie reaches out, brushes Poppy’s cheek with her fingers.

She shakes her head. “No, I wouldn’t. Ask me again.”

Ellie’s eyebrows come together, as if she’s not sure whether she wants to ask Poppy again. But she does. “Poppy Day, would you go on a date with me?”

“Yes.”

“Yes?” Ellie asks, looking surprised now. “You’ll do it? You’ll go on a date with me?”

Poppy nods. “Yes, I will. This isn’t like some sort of dare or prank or bet or something?”

Ellie’s face flickers with _something_ , but Poppy doesn’t know her well enough to understand the expression. She shakes her head. “No. Nothing.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

“Then I would love to go on a date with you, Ellie Stevenson. Is tomorrow night too soon?”

Ellie shakes her head, looking a little confused and a little dazed. It lasts for a moment. When she stands up straight, there’s a smile on her face. “I look forward to it, Miss Day. I’ll pick you up at seven. Wear something revealing.”

“I–no?” Poppy says.

Ellie laughs, spinning on her heel and walking back to the few friends she does hang out with on a regular basis. Poppy watches her, but focuses her attention back on Vernon when he sits down again.

“What the hell was _that_  all about?” he asks.

“I have a date with Ellie Stevenson tomorrow,” Poppy tells him.

Vernon raises an eyebrow, and that’s about as much reaction that she’ll get from him. He gestures to the checker game in front of them. “It’s your turn, Pops.”

“Right.”

She tries to focus back on the game, but she can see people are already whispering and staring at her. The word has gotten out. Poppy feels a little uncomfortable with all the unwanted attention, but then she remembers what she’d told Tom. She was _bored._  And she wanted to change. To mix things up. To mix up her life.

She has another great turn against Vernon, but he still ends up beating her. Poppy doesn’t mind though because she has to go shopping for something revealing.

“What are you doing tonight?” Poppy asks her friend.

He looks at her, studying her for a moment. He sighs. “Is this going to involve shopping in some way?”

“Yes.”

“I’m busy.”

“Vernie…”

Another heavy sigh. “Fine. I’ll take you to the mall after school. Three outfit max per store. Ten minutes in each store. That’s it.”

“And full disclosure of how I look?” Poppy asks.

“Full disclosure.”

“You’re the best.” She leans over and kisses his cheek. “I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah, start a new game. I just won.”

“Again?” Poppy asks, surprised. She does as he asks, clearing the board so she can start fresh.

 

❤ ❤ ❤


	3. it's been too long

❤ ✿ ❤ ✿ ❤

Poppy wishes she could say that she doesn’t know how it happens; that she doesn’t know how her life has been completely flipped upside down. The truth is that she knows _exactly_  how it happens. Ellie Stevenson, the person that everyone perceives as some total badass who is a little crazy with a soft spot for ridiculously cheesy rom-coms.

Her perfect routine is all jumbled up now. She doesn’t really know what she’s doing day to day. Sometimes, Ellie comes to pick her up in the morning, and sometimes Poppy waits at Tom’s truck for a ride. Other days, Ellie will give her a wink in the hall between third and fourth period and Poppy knows to meet her at her ol’ beat-up car. Ellie once came with Poppy to help Jane at the homeless shelter on a Saturday - and _wow,_  had that been an experience.

Today, Poppy’s anxious. She hasn’t seen Ellie all day, which isn’t all that surprising. But people keep whispering and glancing at her, and when Poppy looks at them, they turn away. She’s starting to feel a little paranoid, but Jane had assured her that she hadn’t heard any gossip.

Maybe people had learned that Ellie had asked her to think about them becoming an item. A true, girlfriend-girlfriend kind of thing. It had been so cute. Her face had burned with heat (that Poppy had felt when they kissed) and she had stumbled over the words. They had previously agreed that they were dating, but now…now it was exclusive. Now, it was serious business.

Poppy makes her way over to Vernon’s locker. “Hey, have you seen Ellie?”

Vernon glances at her. “Uh, no. Why?” 

“I feel like something’s wrong,” Poppy mutters. “I’m just being paranoid, I think.”

“Probably. How did the weekend go?”

Poppy smiles, thinking of Sunday morning. She’d woken up beside Ellie, who had given her the softest smile. Ellie had leaned forward, kissed her, and whispered, _fuck, I think I love you._

They’d immediately started to have sex, and Poppy had realized this morning that she hadn’t said it back. She wants to, and maybe it’s her nerves about doing just that has made her feel insecure. Vernon straightens, and gives her an even expression.

“Pops?”

“It was really good. How did your modeling audition go yesterday? I forgot to text you and ask,” Poppy says.

“It was pretty good, actually. I think I might have gotten the job but–”

“Poppy!”

They both turn to see Tom rushing down the hall towards them. Poppy’s stomach drops. _This._  This is the other shoe dropping. She’s been waiting for it all day. He skids to a stop just before them, and asks, “Did you hear?”

“Hear what, Tom?” Poppy asks, but her voice is tight. There’s a knot slowly tightening in her chest.

“Poppy. I’m so sorry. I just heard that…that Ellie was only dating you to win a bet.”

Poppy staggers back a step, and Vernon instantly puts his arms on her waist. She stares at her best friend. A bet? That can’t be right. She shakes her head. “No, no, Ellie wouldn’t…she’d never…”

“Listen, she made some grand comment about how she could make anyone fall in love with her. They figured you were an easy target because no one knew you were a lesbian…so they all thought you were an uptight prude or some bull shit. If I had known, I never would’ve–”

“Tom, please.” Her bottom lip trembles, her hands shake, and it takes all of her energy to pull herself away from Vernon. She tries to hold back the tears. “Where is she?”

“I heard she was going to the music room–”

Poppy doesn’t listen to anything else. She rushes down the hall, fully aware that she hadn’t been paranoid before. Everyone _had_  been staring at her, had heard that Ellie had won the bet, and that Poppy’s life was a complete and utter _joke._

“Eloise!” she calls down the hall. She watches as Ellie freezes, her body tense and uncomfortable. When Ellie turns around, she looks at Poppy with…something that could probably be considered pity. Poppy doesn’t know. She doesn’t really care how Ellie feels right now. “So? Is it true?”

“Poppy–”

“ _Eloise,_ ” Poppy responds. “Is it true? Did I mean anything to you or was I some big fucking joke for your stupid friends that you told me you hate? You told me that this world you’re in…you feel trapped by assholes. You told me that _I_  made you feel a little more grounded, a little more sane. And now I’m hearing that none of it means anything. None of it.”

“Poppy, I–”

“What about when we curled up on my bed and marathoned Netflix? Or when we baked cookies together and had that cliche-fucking-flour fight? Or how you kissed me when we found that little cove at the edge of the lake? Or how you told me that–”

“You were nothing but a bet.”

 

 

❤ ✿ ❤ ✿ ❤

_June_

_Four Months Later_

 

❤ ✿ ❤ ✿ ❤

 

Poppy had seen Jane park in the driveway, so it’s not a surprise when she climbs out her bedroom window to join her on the rooftop. Tom’s gone to an away-basketball game and Vernon had decided to join him. They’ve been growing closer lately. Jane settles beside her, and Poppy leans her head onto Jane’s shoulder.

“I’ve never seen you like this before,” Jane murmurs. “You’ve never held in your feelings before. It’s weird, Pops.”

“I miss her,” Poppy admits. She closes her eyes; hot tears are threatening to escape. “I miss her so much. I haven’t been able to say it because I know that Tom and Vernon would go on a matchmaking mission and I don’t think I can handle that.”

“Yeah,” Jane agrees. She wraps an arm around Poppy’s back. “Yeah, they’d do just that. I know you miss her. School’s almost over. Graduation will happen, and then prom, and then it’ll be done. You won’t have to see her anymore and it’ll be easier.”

“I was a joke to her.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Jane murmurs. “It might have started out that way, but it was clear that she cared about you. I don’t know why she did what she did - it was awful - but I need you to trust that she did care about you.”

Poppy starts crying. She rolls closer to Jane, burying her face in her shirt. The sobs that escape her seem to echo in the air around her, but she can’t be bothered to worry about who can hear her.

Jane hugs her, and they stay like that for far too long. When it’s time, Jane grabs Poppy’s hand to lead her back into her room. Then, like the good friend Jane is, she tucks Poppy into bed. She sits on the edge and brushes Poppy’s hair from her face, letting her hand hover and stroke her cheek softly.

Poppy’s exhausted, so by the time Jane is leaving, she’s asleep.

 

 

❤ ✿ ❤ ✿ ❤

 

“Are you excited for prom tonight?” Vernon asks, moving his checkers piece and stealing one of hers. She keeps her focus on the game at hand, and shrugs. Then she moves a piece of hers, in the exact same move that Ellie had once suggested, taking away two of Vernon’s pieces. “It should be good. Tom and I are going to be matching because–”

“Are you two dating?” Poppy interrupts. “Because you know how Jane feels about Tom. You have to tell her if you are.”

“You know, Poppy, I hate that Ellie broke your heart. I do. But I’m tired of your moods.” Vernon moves each of her checker pieces to King them, before wiping his pieces off the board. “There. You won. I’m going to go get ready for prom. I hope you can get out of this funk, okay? You deserve better than the treatment Ellie gave you, and I _know_  that you are much stronger than this weepy, quiet, shell of a person you are now.”

She blinks at him hard, her brain trying to process what just happened. He grabs his backpack and starts to walk away. But then he pauses and says, “And Poppy? Tom and I have been dating for two months now. Jane is totally cool with it. We were afraid to tell you because we know you had your heart broken. But sometimes, you just gotta move on.”

“Vernon!”

He doesn’t stop walking though. Her shoulders slump, but then she carefully packs up the game. She tucks it into her bag, the checker pieces shuffling loudly. When she finally manages to move, Poppy feels like she’s in a daze.

Vernon is her good-mannered friend. He’s honest, but never rude. And if she had pushed _his_  boiling point, she can’t imagine her other friends are very happy with her either.

She gathers her items. She hadn’t been planning on going to prom, but now, she thinks it’s kind of mandatory. Poppy makes her way to the bus, and waits for it.

By the time she’s home, Vernon’s car is in Tom’s driveway. She doesn’t immediately go over. Instead, Poppy makes her way up to her room to change into the dress she’d bought when she was thinking of asking Ellie to prom. She slips it on, touches up her makeup, pulls off her wig and runs her hair under some water quickly. The tight curls coil up, and she smiles in the mirror. She should wear her natural hair more often. She fixes her lipstick, grabs her clutch, and makes her way to Tom’s place.

Knocking on his door seems appropriate, even if this is the first time she’s ever done it. Tom answers the door, seeming to be startled by her presence.

“Hey. Vernon’s here.”

“I know.” She nods to the car in the driveway.

“He’s pretty upset.”

“Yeah.”

“He didn’t mean to be so harsh to you,” Tom tells her. She shakes her head, asks to come in, and he moves aside. “Please don’t yell at him. It’s prom and–”

“Tom. Stop.”

He does, but Poppy thinks it’s mostly because it’s the first time since the Ellie incident that she hasn’t been running on autopilot and it catches him off guard. She walks into the living room. Vernon and Jane look up at her.

“Poppy, I–”

“I owe you all an apology. I’m so sorry that the last few months of our last year of high school have been crappy because of me. I’m sorry that I didn’t know how to get over Ellie, and that I kind of shut down. Thank you for not giving up on me, and Vern? Thanks for giving me a wake-up call. To be honest, I didn’t even realize that I had shut down. I’ve missed out on your lives because I couldn’t process some silly high school feelings.”

“Have you processed them now?” Jane asks.

“No. But I’m going to work on it,” Poppy promises. “Forgive me?”

“Forgive _me._  I was so harsh and–”

Poppy laughs, shaking her head. The four of them pile in for a large group hug. They remind her that they’re always here for her, and she tries not to cry. “I’m so lucky to have you guys as friends.”

 

 

❤ ✿ ❤ ✿ ❤

 

Prom is okay. It’s not the big scene that everyone makes it out to be. To be honest, Poppy is bored. Jane is talking to some of her other friends, the boys are dancing and kissing, and Poppy is…well, she’s bored. Maybe it’s not a bad thing.

She’d been happy before Ellie. She _had._  She’d lived for her routine. Then Poppy had gotten a taste for adventures and absolute nuttiness that came from hanging out with Ellie. It’d been addicting, and perhaps, her drug. But that’s over now. She leans back in her chair and watches everyone else enjoying themselves.

“Poppy?” a small voice comes. She turns her head to see that Ellie is standing at her side now. Ellie holds out her hand. “May I have this dance?”

“No,” Poppy answers.

“Listen, I am _so_  sorry for how everything went down,” Ellie says, sitting down in front of her. Poppy tries not to look at her - tries to keep her focus on the people dancing. “I fucked up. I fucked up _so_  big. You were more than just a bet to me. I didn’t realize it right away, but when I figured it out, I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Hm,” Poppy says, acting disinterested. She takes a sip of her spiked punch. “Likely story.”

“I wasn’t ready to lose you. I was having so much fun–it’s the happiest I’ve ever been. Being with you was this huge, grand adventure that I didn’t even know was possible. I’m always up for a good laugh or a harmless prank. I didn’t even realize it wasn’t harmless at first. And it was only supposed to be three dates. Then I was supposed to drop you and let you cling after me or some shit. But I couldn’t get enough. Three dates turned into three months, and by then, I was so in love with you I had forgotten why I had asked you out in the first place.”

“Tell yourself whatever you need to so you can sleep at night,” Poppy tells her. She stands up, glancing at Ellie, but not letting herself linger. “I don’t want to hear this. I thought we meant something. I thought those five months meant something. But you told me that I was _nothing but a bet._  I can’t forgive you for that.”

“Poppy, I love you.”

“Eloise, I don’t love you.”

“But–”

“I don’t love you.” _Lie._  “You mean nothing to me. I could never love you.” _Lie. Lie._  “You are a cruel person. You never cared about me. And if your ugly-hearted friends hadn’t chosen me, they would’ve chosen someone else. And then you would’ve broken their heart instead.”

“I…I’m so sorry.”

“It was five months. It might be a lifetime in high school, but it’s barely a blip in the real world. Good luck with everything, Eloise.”

“Stop calling me that!” Ellie demands. But it doesn’t matter, because Poppy has no plans on talking to her ever again. She makes her way on the dance floor to join her friends for a fast song. She doesn’t look back at Ellie, even though her entire body aches.

 

 

❤ ✿ ❤ ✿ ❤

 

_November_

_Nine Months Since Poppy Found Out_

 

❤ ✿ ❤ ✿ ❤

 

“This time last year, I was holding hands with Ellie, and talking about walking through the dog park with Jane’s pup,” Poppy murmurs. She grabs a mug and sets it down on the table. “It’s so weird.”

“Yeah,” Tom agrees. “I’m sorry, Pops. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t think I’m there yet.”

“She…well, I wasn’t sure if you’d want to know but…she’s called me and texted me about you over the last few months. She misses you,” Tom tells her.

It makes Poppy freeze as she’s pouring the kettle to make herself some tea. She barely manages to pull the kettle back in time to avoid her tea from overflowing. “She…she talks to you about me?”

“Yeah. I don’t tell her anything though. I just remind her it was a shitty-ass thing and that I have no respect for her and I–”

“Oh,” Poppy says, falling into her seat. “Tom, you shouldn’t. She was there with you when things were tough. I don’t want you to lose a person who was close to you and your mom.”

“I…it’s whatever. She sucks.”

Poppy stares at her mug. “What, um, what does she say?”

“Just that she fucked up, and she misses you. She hopes you’re doing well, that college has been good to you, and that sort of thing. I don’t get it. She used you and–”

“Tom, it’s okay.”

 

 

❤ ✿ ❤ ✿ ❤

 

She can’t let it go. Poppy wants to, because no way in hell was her high school romance _meaningful._  She’d told Ellie herself: five months in the world of high school wasn’t anything special. Not once one embraces moving on. Except…well.

Poppy can’t stop thinking about Ellie. How happy they’d grown with each other in such a short period of time. When she leaves Tom, she doesn’t go next door to her house. Instead, she bundles up and makes her way down the street to the dog park. 

There aren’t as many owners with their dogs out. Poppy and Ellie had talked about coming here, together, in the summer heat. Poppy shoves her hands into her pockets and smiles at a woman who is playing fetch with her pupper.

She finds a bench that overlooks the park. They’d discussed how it had had the best view. She smiles to herself, because she can’t help but relive the moment. Back when everything was good and Poppy had no idea about any damn bet.

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Poppy looks to her left. “Ellie.”

“Hi. I’ll go, but I saw you and I…wanted you to know that I’m still so sorry for last year.” Ellie nods, turns around, and gets almost half way across the field before Poppy stands up.

She starts running. “Ellie! Ellie!”

Ellie turns around, bewildered.

“Tell me that it meant something.”

“It meant _everything._  I was such an idiot. I didn’t think it mattered, but it turns out that nothing else mattered,” Ellie tells her. She looks so torn. “I will never forgive myself for hurting you like that.”

“I do.”

“You do what?” Ellie asks.

“I forgive you.” The words feel so damn good to say, so damn right. She lets a smile take over her face as Ellie looks at her with utter confusion. “Eloise Stevenson, _I forgive you._  I hadn’t really been sure that I was into girls before you. I kind of…I used you too. I figured what the hell, a date with a girl would be a nice change. Besides, I thought maybe it’d make me popular because you were such a huge mystery at school. It’d make me cooler somehow. So. Do you forgive me?”

“What? Of course, I do! There’s nothing even to forgive! I’m the asshole here, and I–”

“Ellie.” Poppy laughs, shaking her head. “Stop. Stop tearing yourself over this. We both clearly went into that relationship looking to use the other person. But I got to know you. I’ve been spending a lot of time reflecting on our time together. And I just can’t see you being some master actress. No offense, but your lying is generally kind of shit. So yeah, things started out because of a bet…but the rest?”

“It was real,” Ellie says, pleading.

“I know.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I’m just stubborn like that. I can’t believe anything else.”

Ellie gives her the shyest smile Poppy’s ever seen before. “Um…so, like…does this mean that maybe you’d want to…like, hang out again or something?”

Poppy laughs. She reaches out, grabbing Ellie’s hand with hers. “It’s hard to believe a dork like you was ever a mystery in high school.”

“Wow, rude.” But Ellie doesn’t mean it, and Poppy can’t help but laugh.

They start to walk their old lap around the dog park. Talking isn’t necessarily easy, but Poppy feels a weight lifted from her shoulders because she now has hope. Hope that they can figure this out. Whatever it is. Slow and steady wins the race, Ellie told her once.

 

 

❤ ✿ ❤ ✿ ❤

 

“You really think you two are going to be together for the rest of your lives?” Vernon asks, moving one of his checker pieces.

“I’d bet my life on it.”

Vernon looks up at Poppy, eyebrows raised. She smiles shyly and takes out two of his pieces. He doesn’t move his eyes from her face though. “Poppy, you guys have only been together for a few weeks now.”

“Yeah, but Vern? I have a really good gut feeling about this. We’ve changed a lot in the past year-ish, so it’s kind of like we got a fresh start. We’re learning about each other all over again. And this time? I don’t think either of us are willing to lose it.” Poppy grins. “Also, I win.”

“What?!” Vernon sputters in disbelief. Then he points a finger at her. “You and Ellie have been practicing, haven’t you?”

Poppy starts laughing. “Yeah. She said she’d teach me a few things, and she did…if you know what I mean.”

“Gross, Poppy. Okay, let’s play again.”

A wave of happiness and content settles on Poppy, and she starts to help Vernon set up the board again. Sometimes, things were worth a second chance. _And_  if Ellie has taught her anything, it’s that you have to do things _all in._ Risk it all, because the reward is worth it.

“What the fuck?” Vernon says when Poppy manages to steal two of his pieces. “I’m going to have to have a word with Ellie. This is ridiculous.”

Poppy laughs, feeling free.

 

 

❤ ✿ ❤ ✿ ❤

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr [here!](http://www.foxerica.tumblr.com)


End file.
